Contest to win CosmoNutz promocodes!!!

a blonde was looking at cosmo girl and saw these super cute calander necklaces and called the number the guy asked what days do you want she replied my birthday and the date of my birth

)))))

 

I'm not good at jokes... I just wanted to let you know those graphics are nice!

 

An old blind Kosmo wanders into an all-snotz biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a Snotz joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the Snotz next to him says,

'Before you tell that joke, Kosmo, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a Snotz with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a Snotz.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound Snotz with a black belt in karate.

4. The Snotz sitting next to me is a professional weight lifter.

5. The Snotz to your right is a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Kosmo. Do you still wanna tell that Snotz joke?'

The blind Kosmo thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'

 

Snotz are like tissues with issues you take one out and another one pops up.

 

The ostrich

*
THE OSTRICH
**

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.*
The waitress asks them for their orders.*
The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to*
the ostrich, "What's yours?"*
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will*
be $9.40 please."* The man reaches into his pocket and*pulls out**
the exact change for payment.*
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man*
says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."*
**
The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."*
**
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.*

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?"*
asks the waitress.*
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and*
a salad," says the man.*


"Same," says the ostrich.*
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."*

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and*
places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me,*
sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change*
in your pocket every time?"*

"Well," says* the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and*
found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered*
me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything,*
I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money*
would always be there."

"That's* brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a*
million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want*
*for as long as you live!"*
**
"That's right..Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact*
money is always there," says the man.*
**
The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"*

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick*
with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.."*
***



WELL HELLO !!!!!!

 

President Dubya was awakened one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon. “Mr. President,” said the four-star general, barely able to contain himself, “there’s good news & bad news.” “Oh, no,” muttered the President, “Well, let me have the bad news first.” “The bad news, sir, is that we’ve been invaded by Aliens Snotz from another planet.” “Gosh, and the good news?” “The good news, sir, is that they eat reporters and pee oil.”

Quick! Send our elite Kosmo to collect the oil after they pee!

 

Is this a joke?

 

I would love to test this app! Could I have a promo code? Thanks

 

kosmo walks into a bar and says 'It's AVATAR' , the snot says "i think your in the wrong place mates its ALIENS".

 

KOSMO: Knock, knock?
SNOTZ #1: Who's there?
KOSMO: I eat mop.
SNOTZ #1: I eat mop, who?
KOSMO: Eww.. *rolls boulder onto SNOTZ #1*